Why the internet is making us sad.

We all know how the amazing the internet is, I wouldn’t be sitting here typing this up in my house if it wasn’t for what the internet has brought me. But every coin has another side and I feel the the internet is responsible for the majority of us feeling down in the dumps.

Processed with VSCO with c6 preset

I for one have suffered from feeling pretty shitty about myself, but only as a reflection on what is in front of me, on a screen. Why are we getting so down? Because the internet is normalising the unobtainable. Sharing photos of exotic islands retreats, designer bags and our gluttony as though this is normal, can seriously make you peer down and your little chipped nail polished scrolling thumb and question whether you’re doing life right. Are we doing life right? Yes! Just because we’re not washing our hair under a waterfall in Thailand on a Wednesday morning does not mean that there’s something wrong. Just because we prefer to lace up 10 year old converse over strapping into Loui Vuitton’s does not mean we’re dong life wrong. Just because we’re burning our mouth on that 5th desperate cuppa of the day, as to burning our toes in the luscious white sands in the Maldives does not mean we’re doing life wrong. Granted, there are fortunate people out there that have luxurious lifestyles, but they’re a minority. I know whats its like to sit at a desk and see the amount of people out being free and enjoying themselves on my instagram feed and then the feeling of self doubt kicks in because the thought of a trip away seems too far from reality to comprehend. MOST people don’t holiday every week, or shop whenever they fancy or eat out every day.

Bloggers I feel can be to blame for becoming out of touch with what’s relatable too, I’ve been guilty myself. There is a need for a balance of interest, ‘is what I’m doing benefitting my readers?’ ‘Can I see the people that read my blog doing this too?’ But there’s also the aspect of allowing yourself great opportunities and as long as you’re transparent that whatever your doing is a great opportunity which you would never see yourself doing without blogging, then there’s understanding and acceptance with that.

Processed with VSCO with s3 preset

Also remember people want to share they’re highlights, the things that make them look good. People don’t share their raging arguments with their partners on the internet, nor the tears of the aftermath, people share the flowers and chocolates and the gag worthy essays on how much they love their other half, I mean what even is #relationshipgoals?

What we need to remember is behind every screen is a normal person, there is no point letting what others CHOOSE to share effect how we reflect on our own lives. Whether its success, getaways, relationships or their latest purchase. We all have to remember that we each have attributes that I can guarantee others will want. The best thing to do is remember that real life is is around you, not glowing at you on a screen. People will tweak, edit and highlight the best bits of life as for some reason, the internet is obsessed with portraying perfection.

Share:

24 Comments

  1. Imogen
    24th January 2017 / 7:51 pm

    Thank god someone said it! You have a great mindset Helen. Keep up the good work

  2. Marcie Holderman
    24th January 2017 / 8:09 pm

    Beautifully said!

  3. Stacey
    24th January 2017 / 8:17 pm

    Loved this
    Too often I feel sad at the fun I see very one having but you are right people mostly only show the good. :).

  4. 24th January 2017 / 8:48 pm

    Wow, just… wow.

    This is EXACTLY how I feel. You couldn’t have explained it more accurately than this!

  5. 24th January 2017 / 9:04 pm

    same, I feel like in the last year I’ve been doubting if I’m “doing life right” because of the amount of people I see on instagram living amazing lifestyles. I have also fallen into the trap of spending a lot of money buying things I cant really afford in order to appear belong to that lifestyle. I think theres a lot of pressure to impress on social media these days

    http://emmaodonnell.blogspot.co.uk/

  6. Lubna
    24th January 2017 / 10:56 pm

    I swear, I have been thinking about the exact same issue. Many people end up comparing their lives to these “perfect” pictures ! Well said ! Life is not always picture perfect x

    themisslubna.com

  7. 25th January 2017 / 12:02 am

    Your honestly in this post is so inspiring to read. I often scroll through social media and wonder how on earth these people manage to have such exciting, adventurous lives. My life changed a year ago when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness which has stopped me from being able to work or even live a relatively normal life. I struggle to not envy other people who are able to do so many wonderful things. You just have to remember that what you see online is only a window into someone else’s life, that has been edited to only show what they want you to see. Thank you for writing this post :)

  8. 25th January 2017 / 9:01 am

    I needed this, this morning Helen! Thank you.

  9. 25th January 2017 / 9:59 am

    Helen!

    This blog post speaks so much truth, I feel this so much and on so many levels. thank you for writing this

    -A,x

    Mandeville Sisters

  10. 25th January 2017 / 10:14 am

    I so can understand this in so many levels to the point of what am I blogging about? Yet as I sit or lay I look at my iPad and write my blogs down and post them. I should be out doing something else you know. I’m also being guilty but I know I’m not rich like everyone else is in the world. It makes you wonder where they get their money from.

  11. 25th January 2017 / 6:23 pm

    Such an honest and relatable post! I definitely feel the effects of being online as a blogger, and I often say to myself that a good social media detox is what I need but I never get round to doing so! xx

    http://www.styleandsplurging.net

  12. 26th January 2017 / 12:11 am

    Appreciate the realism in this post, you have always seemed down to earth, not a blogger trying to push something unobtainable at your audience. And I want to make sure my blogging is helping make people feel less sad, not more

    The Quirky Queer

  13. Megan Molique
    26th January 2017 / 3:09 am

    “Are we doing life right? Yes! Just because we’re not washing our hair under a waterfall in Thailand on a Wednesday morning does not mean that there’s something wrong.” I couldn’t have read this post at a better time. A year and a half ago I studied abroad in London, England for four months, those few months felt like the happiest months of my life. I came back home to the states and settled back into my surroundings/routine as I’m trying to graduate from university this summer and ever since I feel like I’m living a boring (normal) life. It’s hard to remember that people who get to travel the world and live these fancy lifestyles aren’t the norm. Thank you for writing such a truthful post, Helen! It’s the perfect reminder to live in the moment and find the good in everyday life, not wait around to do something extravagant to post on social media.

  14. 26th January 2017 / 12:43 pm

    Totally agree! Its funny how you can be conscious of the abnormality of luxury, but still catch yourself wondering why your life doesn’t compare! x

  15. Sadie Leigh Hudson
    26th January 2017 / 6:24 pm

    So happy to see someone talking about this subject because it has been on my mind for ages. But not so much about bloggers life styles and the way people look (although i can totally understand why a bombardment of that would make people feel down) My anxiety and down episodes have gotten so much worse from being constantly bombarded with horrible news all the time. Its like if you go on facebook you cant avoid it. Just never ending stuff about how the world is fucked/war/bombing/politics. I deleted mt facebook for a while just to avoid it. Obviously people shouldn’t be ignorant but it can make you feel really helpless and depressed i think, i dont know xx

  16. Francesca
    26th January 2017 / 11:49 pm

    Dear Helen,
    I’ve been following you for quite few years now and I couldn’t be happier. I found you on YouTube randomly, I’ll be honest, but as soon as I finished the video I thought “oh she’s cool! She’s one of a kind” and you truly are.
    I always feel ntimidated by youtubers/instagrammers because, even though they share precious informations, they also seem to have this perfect life, a life that I know I won’t ever have,
    I’m studying to become a lawyer, and I know that by the choices I made I will spend my life behind a desk or – hopefully- in court. There’s nothing bad about it, I’m so much happy with my choices, but you know, studies are very hard and sometimes I just feel like giving up. And I ask myself “why am I struggling that much for a degree when I could be more successful doing much less?”
    When I was younger I used to think that hard work was the key to success, now I see these people with their perfect lives and I can’t see the point in what I’m doing anymore.
    And it changed me. I often find myself craving for one more like on mi IG post, or worrying about how many followers I’ve got. And it’s not even my job!
    All these words just to say that I look at you as a rare gem in this cyber world of perfect dolls, because you stay true to yourself and you’re not afraid to show who you truly are.
    And I wish everyday to be strong and courageous like you.
    Thank you for this post, for your happiness and joy. Thank you for just being you.
    All the love from Italy.
    Francesca

    Ps: your new house is AMAZING! The wall paper is just perfect!

  17. 2nd February 2017 / 3:05 pm

    Omg yes, so well written and I relate a bit too much too this haha… Now, when I am a bit older, I can really see what the internet is doing to people, even though I am just 18 at the moment. But yes, we should never feel like we are not doing life right just because there are people just sharing their ups and not the downs. So you go Helen!

  18. Jennifer S Clayburg
    9th February 2017 / 7:51 pm

    Wow did this resonate for me. Thank you, Helen. I needed these words today.

  19. 11th February 2017 / 9:42 am

    I love this. I’m constantly thinking ‘What next? What next? What next?’ When it comes planning trips and doing exciting things. I need to remember that life isn’t just about the big events, but everything in between; even if that is having another cuppa, going for a walk or spending a day in bed watching films. There’s definitely a pressure to always be doing something, and for that something to be exciting/Instagrammable. Yet the more time I’m spending offline, and just indulging in me-time, the more I’m realising that nothing is ever a waste of time if you’re doing what your body tells you it needs! Thank you for always being so refreshingly real Helen x

  20. Alex
    24th March 2017 / 11:37 am

    So true! The constant comparing of myself to others is so frustrating.

  21. 11th April 2017 / 6:37 pm

    Love that you see how bloggers can be responsible. So refreshing to see some honesty and transparency!

  22. Bethany
    18th April 2017 / 2:05 am

    Favourite blogger ever! Love how you keep everything so real!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *